We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Half of Me Has Never Been Here

by Marigolding

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
How I knew far before you knew yourself: Honey, I counted up the time. Step by step, walking backwards towards the door, thinking I finally crossed. And now I know the thin line. I would give you my whole body if I could. This is how we do tend to fall apart. Keep an eye out from time to time. How is it you so quickly say goodbye, when you know you’re clawing at the ceiling, hardly breathing. I would give you my whole body if I thought that it would be the thing that let you be something outside yourself. I don’t wanna walk away, believe me. Folded hands. Thinking I know you now. I don’t wanna walk away, but I don’t wanna stay the same. Don’t you wanna know if you ever know anyone? Clawing at the feeling again I would give you my whole body if I thought that it would be the thing that you let be something outside yourself I don’t wanna walk away, believe me.
2.
I don’t think you meant to let it get this far. Spinning landscapes from a moving car— blurred to nothing. Earth tone mud shit. Smashed together into nothing I recognize. I know I never meant to let it get this far. Standing sideways at the dumb boy bar. Held together. Too-small sweater. Drinking fourteen dollar takes on what I’ve got at home. When am I gonna see you again, love? I’ve been asking myself where you’ve gone. I know we never meant to let it get this far. You’d throw ice cream pints like a football star. When I first met you. Somehow we both knew. Now we’re standing in the street and screaming “you won’t change.” When am I gonna see you again, love? I’ve been asking myself where you’ve gone. There’s a shadow growing longer where you stand in the sun.
3.
Darling, I lost the feeling again. The rosary, the too-still hands. Misplaced, or never found. What if I just never look down? Hard to believe things tend to turn out right. Folding up the clothes again. A functioning, good member of the Earth. But still I stand divided— half of me has never been here. Man I believe things tend to turn out. Impatient me, always looking to the end of all long lines as if the meaning don’t change in time— like tomorrow’s gonna have my gods.
4.
Runner 03:35
“I could never just run off”— I believe it when I say it. And then I’m gassing up the car. See you in the calling cards and then I stop. Never believe me when I say it. It was red and white when I looked up— I was staring out at the sun. But I figured out if I just look down, walk around, then I can shake the feeling— see you in the light again. I wanna see you in the light. “I could never break your heart”— I can hear myself say it. And then I’m pulling you apart. I’m a runner ‘cause it hurts. I’m a runner, always at the line. But I can’t say why. It was red and white when I looked up— I was staring out at the sun. But I figured out if I just look down, walk around, then I can shake the feeling— see you in the light again.
5.
Fend 03:57
Whenever I fault the Earth, I’m never far behind. Reading into the signs some hell. Standing in fading light, it starts again. When the night comes in, you want me around. It’s you I know. It’s you I want. It’s all we have to fend the darkness off. Whatever the science is behind you taking on the pains of the world— I don’t wanna dull it off but at the end, I wanna be sure we let some light in. It’s you I know. It’s you I want. It’s all we have to fend the darkness off. Calling it fine is no place of mine. But whether we still get up I wanna be certain of. It’s you I know. It’s you I want. It’s all we have to fend the darkness off.
6.
Sundowning 05:14
Coming on slow, it’s the evening and I’m lost. Hadn’t seen the sun til it was too far gone. Til it was sinking in its colors. Now it’s pulling me down. So I learn my place: On a planet that gives you daylight, who am I to be so cold? Believe you me, I would shake it if I could. I’d pack our bags and head into the woods. I would rest in piny clearings. I’d give everything back. Remembering, I know— that everything I borrow is everything I owe. (Lights out and saying farewell again.) Coming on quick, it’s the end that’s never made sense. How the walls fall away and the rest is nothing. At the bottom of the ocean, there’s a layer that’s never moved. It’s only right you told me that, because I can’t even fathom.
7.
In Two 04:08
You knew me when I was a wait-around-and-see a sucker and a thief, a show-it-all. Tied to the feeling of a pattern in the sky, Washed out by the lights— I couldn’t tell, I couldn’t. Well even if I cut it, or half it down to size, I might still let it take my mind. Seven sisters in the night constellating high. I’m two steps to the right, and a million stories down. Well even if I cut it, Or half it down to size, I might still let it take my mind. I know this is how it ends: I walk away and turn around. If I had all of it again, I’d break it all in two.

credits

released September 15, 2022

Ryan Kershaw - Guitars, Vocals, Programming
Spencer Inch - Drums
Robin Buyer - Bass
Mateus Falci - Piano
Kyle Joseph - Programming, Additional Guitars on Tracks 3 and 7

Co-produced by Kyle Joseph, Ryan Kershaw and Robin Buyer
Engineered by Kyle Joseph, Robin Buyer and Ryan Kershaw
Additional Engineering by Chris Schuett
Mixed by Kyle Joseph
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Marigolding New York

Marigolding is Ryan Michael Kershaw and friends.

contact / help

Contact Marigolding

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Marigolding, you may also like: